I couldn't put my feelings into words and still can't fathom the reasons why such things happen. I do know that God is in control. God is the Author and Finisher of my faith and knows exactly what He is doing even when I can't grasp or understand the things that He does.
Within the last two months, God has shown himself faithful to me in miraculous ways. As a teacher, God has provided me with many harvests of children over the past 4 years. Right now, I currently have 3 different harvests of children. I have an amazing job built for me working with children. I volunteer with an organization working with children that need the love of Jesus. I also work with the children at my church in various ways. As I continue to release control and trust God, I see God working more and more in my life.
I don't understand God's plans, but I know that they are higher and bigger than I can ever imagine and as long as I am abiding in Him everything will go according to His plan. What I may see as tragedy God may see as victory. The impact of a life or set of circumstances can't fully be seen this side of heaven. All I can do is take it one day at a time trusting God in each step.
"I don't know about tomorrow, but I know Who holds my hand."