Not Perfect

BLOG.  There it still stares at me in bold letters.  It is a large part of my dream board, but evidently it hasn't ranked high on the priority list.  The rest of my aspirations illustrated in my board have also taken a backseat to the mundane tasks of everyday life.  The passion, the spark, the zeal to see them accomplished has waned as the year progresses to it's halfway point.  The spirit of a new year has worn off, and the patterns of existence have made their impressions.  Well it's time to WAKE UP!

It is time for me to put my "big girl" pants on and DO something starting with a blog post.  Now what am I to do?  What do I want?  I want to be happy doing something that I love.

I love and hate to write.  I love writing and posting on my blog.  I enjoy the creative process of putting my thoughts and feelings into words.  I used to write in journals and need to get back to that practice.  What I hate about writing is my perfectionist tendency rears its ugly head as I try to compose the perfect post or deliver my message in such a specific way that it can sap the joy right out of it.  I also have noticed that many of my posts have good advice in them, but I currently don't apply much of that advice in my own life.  I want to post more on my blog, but I want to apply and live what I post.  So rather than post my thoughts and ideas that I don't apply to my life.  I avoid writing and posting altogether.  My original purpose for my blog got lost within the first few posts.  It became an online journal of sorts of thoughts and lessons that I now realize that I should apply to my life.

My renewed purpose for my blog is to chronicle my journey to health and wellness.  I have shared my story and want to actually put my advice into practice.  I battle with fear and want to replace it with faith and love.  I want to build positive consistency in my day to day interactions and routines rather than drifting without direction to an unknown destination.

My first and major goal is my -100 pound party.  I have been trying to reach this goal since 20011 at least.  It is now 2016.  I have come withing 4 to 5 pounds of this goal, yet my scale has never read 140 pounds.

UGH...the struggle is real.  I am trying not to post what I am going to do (because I know full well that it is very unlikely that I will do it.)  I want to post what I actually do to reach my -100 pound party.  

So here goes, today started well with an awesome Wildberry Herbalife shake.  It ended with me over indulging in the ingredients of healthy desserts that I made from over ripened bananas. I did swim and enjoy fellowship with friends as well.    

I need to believe that I will get there and just do it.