Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Getting Off of the Fence

I am attempting to get off of the fence about Courtship versus Dating.  At this point in my life, I lack some socializing skills with guys.  I can't learn them unless I am around men.  Cloud pushes dating but not in the super charged set apart for marriage sort of way.  His approach to dating is a process to get to know guys and ultimately yourself.  He advocates that we clear up our internal dynamics that are keeping us from dating and getting to know guys in a healthy and respectable manner.

Lovers' Lock Fence ~ Paris, France
I agree with this approach to dating, but on the other hand, I have seen and heard testimonies of women who waited without dating around so much and finally found the one God had for them later in life(late 30s) or even being content to serve God in their singleness.  God's timing is the best timing.  As for dating with no strings attached, for me that is hard for my mind to wrap around because I am a very emotional person and can become attached very quickly.  I don't want to invest improper emotions in a relationship.  I guess that all comes with learning how to socialize and communicate with guys.  As I get more comfortable and pick up my patterns, I can step back and analyze the situation better.

With this approach, it sounds like emotional investment in someone you don't marry is paid back in personal growth with interaction and learning of specific characteristics you want in a guy.  This part, keeps me close to that fence.  I don't want several men out in the world to know the very intimate details of my life.  That is reserved for my future husband.  Emotional purity versus emotional investment with the return being growth as a person and as a Christian is my quandary.

I can't really judge as to whether one is more right.  I do know that if I am following God and staying close to Him, I can't fail.  He will give me a sense of peace about whether or not to "date" or to just enjoy the journey.  I do know God won't send him to my doorstep, so I must be willing to interact and fellowship with guys and learn how I tick around them or I won't be prepared to be married to one.

As my Grandma always said, "Don't go solving a problem with a problem."

No comments:

Post a Comment