Many of us look forward to growing up. But when we get there, we wish we were kids again with not a care in the world. My life is not where I imagined it would be at my nearly 32 years of age. I can paint a woe is me, "thanks for noticin'" Eeyore picture or I can paint a positive enthusiastic Tigger "that is with a T-I-double guh- ER" picture of my life right now. It is all dependent upon my perspective and attitude. Many days I feel like Eeyore rather than Tigger. I feel like I am merely walking through life and existing rather than living life with purpose and impact. It is time for me to take responsibility. I am to be held accountable for my choices. According to the wise Noah Webster, I am responsible-accountable to God to use the talents that He gave me.
I was able to use my talent of teaching today. I am not sure I completely honored God due to lack of preparation. I volunteered to substitute for a Sunday School class, but I failed to prepare till the very last minute. I also got a tap on the shoulder this morning saying I had Children's Church. Again, no preparation. I thank God for the talent He gives me to teach even on the fly, but I know that God wants my best. My best is to be prepared and passionate about what He wants me to teach. I need to have a Tigger mindset that just oozes with confidence and enthusiasm in my own special way. Also, whatever I don't like about my life, I have the ability to change. It is time to make those positive choices that will get me closer to where I want to be. I need to choose to be prompt, prepared, and passionate in anything I do.
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." ~1 Corinthians 10:31
I work at a childcare center with an awesome harvest of three year old kiddos that God has so graciously blessed me with. Yesterday was a day where some precious memories were made. It started with one of my kiddos in line to wash her hands. She said, "Watch this!" and she proceeded to cross her eyes. We both laughed and she said, "My brother taught me that."
Snack time is always an exciting part of the day, and yesterday we had yogurt and animal crackers. After a bit, I had several requests for more animals crackers, but there were not enough crackers to go around. I announced to the class that there weren't enough and to eat what they were given. All of a sudden, I hear this painful cry from one of my kiddos. I asked, "What is wrong?" He looked up at me and said, "You made me sad." I grabbed my mouth and walked away so I wouldn't laugh in front of him. He wanted more animal crackers, and I squashed his dreams.
Later on, I caught another child who had already eaten her snack at another table with a snack in front of her. I didn't see her actually eating her friend's snack, but the opened yogurt and half eaten animal cracker on top indicated otherwise. I asked her, "Did you eat this snack?" She answered back with no. I asked again, when another friend spoke up and said, "Her nose is getting longer."
These are the moments when my job doesn't feel like a job. I get to do life with amazing kiddos and look at life through their perspective. It is a refreshing glimpse of the simplicity of life. They make me smile, laugh, and enjoy my time with them. There is never a dull moment, and I never know what a day will bring.
I have been involved with a 12 week Team Beauty challenge for the last month. I have enjoyed it so far. It has kept me really accountable to my meal plan and exercise. I am down six pounds so far and have a little over 6 pounds left before it's time to party!
BUT today I messed up. It started off good. I had a great day with a shake for breakfast and lunch. I gave into temptation at a ladies fellowship at church tonight. I tried to steer clear of the desserts, but I gave into a peanut butter "crack" brownie (Rice Krispy crack). I also kept nibbling on an organic but not necessarily healthy pumpkin cobbler crumble of sorts. I also had a few too many meatballs. I posted my food to the accountability group, but I omitted a few details. As I was driving home, my tummy started to feel the effects of my choices. Yes, they were my choices. No one forced me to eat anything. I chose to and I chose to go back. Then it began, the thoughts. The guilt. The beating myself up for making the choices that I made. But this time, I chose not to listen. I told Satan to get out. I prayed to God for forgiveness, and I let go of the guilt. I nipped the thought in the bud before it had a chance to fester and eat away at me. I decided right there that I would exercise when I got home. I did put a video on and got a good ten minutes of exercise in.
This may not sound like a big deal, but for me this was a major victory. I am learning to practice taking captive my thoughts and not allowing them to dictate my feelings and attitudes. It is a work in progress, but I know that I will continue to grow. No one is ever going to steal my joy. I am in charge of what I think, and I choose to think on the things that are lovely, pure, and noble. God's got a plan for you and I, we just need to make sure we listen to His voice and not the voice of the Enemy.
Our mind can be our greatest asset or downfall. As of late, it has been my downfall. I overthink and allow my emotions to get away from me at times. I give myself permission to do things not in line with my goals.
Right now, my biggest goal is my -100 pound party, but for some reason I am my biggest obstacle. I KNOW what to do, but fail to DO it. I started out well this weekend. I had my shakes in the morning. But I got caught up in the festivities of Memorial Day, and I made some poor choices when it came to my food.
Yesterday, I planned to get back on my plan of 2 shakes a day and a healthy meal. I didn't eat unhealthy meals, but I only had one shake for breakfast. I am in the process of learning how to coach others to reach their health goals, and I am not sticking with my plan.
This is where I must change my mindset and believe that I can and will achieve my goal.I will be able to party and celebrate my -100 pound weight loss. I know I haven't reached my goal yet, but I have become a better person in mind, body, and spirit over the course of my long journey. I look forward to the day when I reach that goal, and I am excited. Let's do this. Two shakes, two protein snacks, one healthy meal everyday. I KNOW I can do this!
BLOG. There it still stares at me in bold letters. It is a large part of my dream board, but evidently it hasn't ranked high on the priority list. The rest of my aspirations illustrated in my board have also taken a backseat to the mundane tasks of everyday life. The passion, the spark, the zeal to see them accomplished has waned as the year progresses to it's halfway point. The spirit of a new year has worn off, and the patterns of existence have made their impressions. Well it's time to WAKE UP!
It is time for me to put my "big girl" pants on and DO something starting with a blog post. Now what am I to do? What do I want? I want to be happy doing something that I love.
I love and hate to write. I love writing and posting on my blog. I enjoy the creative process of putting my thoughts and feelings into words. I used to write in journals and need to get back to that practice. What I hate about writing is my perfectionist tendency rears its ugly head as I try to compose the perfect post or deliver my message in such a specific way that it can sap the joy right out of it. I also have noticed that many of my posts have good advice in them, but I currently don't apply much of that advice in my own life. I want to post more on my blog, but I want to apply and live what I post. So rather than post my thoughts and ideas that I don't apply to my life. I avoid writing and posting altogether. My original purpose for my blog got lost within the first few posts. It became an online journal of sorts of thoughts and lessons that I now realize that I should apply to my life.
My renewed purpose for my blog is to chronicle my journey to health and wellness. I have shared my story and want to actually put my advice into practice. I battle with fear and want to replace it with faith and love. I want to build positive consistency in my day to day interactions and routines rather than drifting without direction to an unknown destination.
My first and major goal is my -100 pound party. I have been trying to reach this goal since 20011 at least. It is now 2016. I have come withing 4 to 5 pounds of this goal, yet my scale has never read 140 pounds.
UGH...the struggle is real. I am trying not to post what I am going to do (because I know full well that it is very unlikely that I will do it.) I want to post what I actually do to reach my -100 pound party.
So here goes, today started well with an awesome Wildberry Herbalife shake. It ended with me over indulging in the ingredients of healthy desserts that I made from over ripened bananas. I did swim and enjoy fellowship with friends as well.
I need to believe that I will get there and just do it.
I had the privilege to create a dream/vision board for my life with a friend in early January. On that board is BLOG in all caps. It is about time that I put that into action. I have experienced many things in these first two months of the year. My word for the year is RENEW. I am trying to make it real in my life by examining my thinking and replacing the lies that I believe with the truth. I truly want to transform my life this year and become the best me. I want believe in myself and trust God with my circumstances. He is in control, and I am learning to turn my fears into faith. A moment that stands out was Valentine's weekend when my friend and I volunteered at Tim Tebow's Night to Shine, a prom for special needs people. I got to be a buddy to Courtney, a really awesome girl. We danced, watched karoke, got our pictures taken together at the photo booth. She got to take pictures with pageant queens and Disney princesses. Mascots and football players made appearances and posed for pictures. It was a wonderful experience.
I have also made a few leaps of faith within the last week. I have registered to take the Early Childhood Education Teacher test in April which would allow me to teach Prekindergarten and Kindergarten. My past experiences in education have not been smooth. I attribute the difficulties to my ignorance of teaching and failure to educate myself on how to become an effective teacher. My present experience with my four-year-old kiddos has encouraged me to take on this endeavor.
I have also been striving for a major health goal-my -100 pound party. I am 8ish pounds away and can't wait to blast through that goal. I have been using Herbalife products for the last two years now, and I absolutely love them. I had some recent success on the business side of things which gave me the boost that I needed. I see this as an opportunity to help others get their dreams and also give back to those that have helped me in my journey.
My blog is something that I want to develop over the course of this year. I want to chronicle my actions rather than dole out advice that I don't apply to my own life. I KNOW a lot but it's time to put what I know into ACTION. Check back soon to see what's been happening.