Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Filled with JOY!

JOY! Joy!! JOY!!!  This has been a year filled with Joy.  God knew what He was doing when He put that word on my heart for this year.  This year has not been easy.  I have struggled with many different things this year such as job loss, my singleness, my ministry.  In one of my attempts of "changing my traffic patterns" to meet people (okay, I'll be honest, guys...), I returned to Jesus, my Prince of Peace.  In the form of a 21 day journal (that has lasted well beyond 21 days), God has rocked my world with a consistent quiet time I have never experienced.
He supplied my need for a job not once but twice this year.  He has shown me that I am worth it.  God has given me great friends and a wonderful church family.  He has shown me that I am not in control.  I have learned the hard way to allow Him to have the control.
Things have happened that in my own knowledge and strength, I can't explain. But by faith, I know that God has a plan.  As God works in my life in such direct and distinct ways, I can't do anything but thank Him and obey Him.  God called me to teach in 2009 and has faithfully supplied me with harvests of kiddos to teach and shine the light of Christ in their lives.  Even when others doubted, I pressed on and God delivered.  He also opened my eyes to several harvests of kiddos that surrounded me and gave me opportunities to invest in their lives.
Most recently, I have been reminded of the value of any soul.  This has prompted me to become more bold in sharing my faith with others. I have had the opportunity to "change my traffic patterns" for a very different reason, an eternal purpose. In the past few weeks, I have met many people and pray that God will water the seeds of the gospel and give me the courage to continue to go.
God has given me true Joy this year through the mountains and the valleys.  I took joy in everything because God was there through all of my circumstances.  I pray that you find the Joy that Christ can give and have a blessed new year.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

~ Untitled Post ~

I just ran across this post draft dated on a very life-altering day for me and many people around me.  I can only imagine myself then trying to articulate all of the emotion in me and around me at that moment.  That is why I believe this post remained unwritten.

I couldn't put my feelings into words and still can't fathom the reasons why such things happen.  I do know that God is in control.  God is the Author and Finisher of my faith and knows exactly what He is doing even when I can't grasp or understand the things that He does.

Within the last two months, God has shown himself faithful to me in miraculous ways.  As a teacher, God has provided me with many harvests of children over the past 4 years.  Right now, I currently have 3 different harvests of children.  I have an amazing job built for me working with children. I volunteer with an organization working with children that need the love of Jesus.  I also work with the children at my church  in various ways. As I continue to release control and trust God, I see God working more and more in my life.

I don't understand God's plans, but I know that they are higher and bigger than I can ever imagine and as long as I am abiding in Him everything will go according to His plan.  What I may see as tragedy God may see as victory.  The impact of a life or set of circumstances can't fully be seen this side of heaven.  All I can do is take it one day at a time trusting God in each step.

"I don't know about tomorrow, but I know Who holds my hand."

Saturday, October 27, 2012

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?  I would hope that you are here to read this awesome blog post.  No, seriously, what are you doing here?  I was asked a similar question recently asking what did I give up to be here.  The question puzzled me for awhile.  What did I give up to be where I was?  My first thoughts were  a significant pay cut and a flexible schedule with many breaks.  Then my thoughts went to why was I there.  I really didn't know why I was there.  On the surface, I was to teach children about Jesus.  Below the surface, I was there to learn some very difficult life lessons.

In church the next Sunday, I learned Elijah, the prophet of God, was asked the same question.  God asked him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  Elijah's reponse was of despair and lonliness.  I could totally relate.  I was drained physically, emotionally, and mentally.  God showed his power and came to Elijah in a still small voice and repeated the question.  Elijah's answer remained the same.  God moved on with further instructions said, "By the way, 7,000 people have not bowed the knee to Baal, so you are not alone, just sayin'" (paraphrased). 

I pondered this question and my answer.  I was there to learn some valueable lessons about myself.  I am not alone, I don't have to do everything myself.  When I am in control, nothing goes well for very long.  When I allow God to have control, there is this unexplicable peace and joy to life even in the midst of the unknown.

At this very moment in life, God has called me to know Him more and make Him known.  I am patiently waiting for my next harvest.  What am I doing here?  I am getting to know God and telling everyone I can about Him.  I am trusting God and taking one step at a time.  What are you doing here?  Whatever your answer, remember you are not alone. God is with you if you have believed on Jesus.

If you have not believed on Jesus, you can.  It is a free gift.  You must first admit that you are a sinner (Romans 3:23).  Everyone has sinned-thought, said, or done something that breaks God's laws.  Next, you must believe that Jesus died to pay for your sin.  Sin requires payment.  Death and  separation from God is the required payment for sin (Romans 6:23).  Jesus died a horrific death on a criminal's cross for you and me.  You must believe on Jesus Christ, and you will be saved (Acts 16:31).  Then you choose to make Jesus the Boss of your life.  It is a free gift and you can't earn it Ephesians 2:8, 9 says, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast."  It's FREE!  That will be the best decision you will ever make in life.  Whatever you are doing here, I hope and pray that you know God or will get to know Him.  If you have any questions, feel free to message me.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I'm Engaged!

I was reminded today in church that I am already engaged to the best person ever.  He is out of this world (literally!).  According to Jewish wedding customs, the father picks the bride for his son, the son asks permission, a price is negotiated, and paid.  Then there is a time of preparation.  The bride readies herself to be a wife and mother while the groom prepares the house for his bride.

Christ has proposed to us all.  God the Father chose the church, saved believers of Christ's message. as the bride for His Son.  Jesus left the glory of heaven and paid the ultimate price of death on the cross of Calvary for our sins, and ascended to heaven to prepare a place for His bride.  He is preparing a place for me!

I am engaged to Christ!  I accepted His proposal of love and forgiveness in March of 2001.  My relationship hasn't been easy but is growing stronger with each new day.  The best part is my bridegroom is coming back for me.  That means I must be ready for Him.  I need to prepare my heart and mind for that holy union and all that it will hold.

This gives me a whole new perspective on earthly romantic love.  I am not putting down earthly marriage at all.  It is a priority thing.  I shouldn't seek the love of a man over the love of Christ.  Christ should be first and foremost in my thoughts and life.  Until Christ is number one, any other relationship on earth will suffer.

With that, I plan to set apart some time to seek God and prepare for my groom's coming.  Christ is coming back for me.  It doesn't get any better than that.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Does God Use Our Detours?

There are times in life where I believe God is whispering, "Be still..." and I plow right through not fully catching the "I am God" part. I believe God engineers circumstances in my life to get me to reach out to Him. This has happened many times over the years, and I wished I had slowed down to listen a whole lot sooner.

This got me to wonder, does God use my detours?  What constitutes a detour?  Does a detour have to be a blatant outright rebellion visible to the world around us?  Can a detour be disguised as a good intention pursued at the wrong timing?
The Bible speaks for itself; just take a look at Sampson or Jonah.   God used their detours and can use mine.  I have had a few detours in my short life.  They don’t look major from the outside looking in, but they have shaped me to get to the place I am today even though they may not have been God’s best plan at the time.

God got my attention with a major life event that clearly told me I wasn’t in control.  I was slow to learn that lesson, but I did learn that God was with me always and wouldn’t leave me. Other detours in my life were busyness in my college routine, pursuit of a Master’s degree, and doing good things without the best motives.
You may say how can a Master’s degree be a bad thing?  Well, I love listening to others and attempting new things, so I went for it without seeking God’s best will.  There is nothing wrong with a Master’s degree, but for me it was not God’s best plan for me.  It took a lot for Him to get my attention and let go.  God worked through my classes orchestrating things only He can and allowing me to use information gained through those classes in my work today, and for that I am grateful.
Serving others without the right motives has occurred several times in my life.  Most recently, I ran across an organization that fulfilled the call on my life to reach children for Christ.  I volunteered while doing grad classes which took away from my focus and purpose for my service.  My intentions were good, but my heart was not completely dedicated to the work. 

As God started chipping away at the detours I was taking, He directed me back to this organization, and after a long summer of interviews and getting closer to God.  God blessed me with a position with this organization to teach Jesus to children every day.  God gave me my true heart’s desire and redirected me back to His purpose through the many twists and turns I created.  God can use our detours, but it is best if we stay close and listen for the next step.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Operation Faithfully Fit

Today is the day, no more excuses, no more waiting for tomorrow, no more if onlys, Operation Faithfully Fit begins today.  In keeping with my alliterative streak, my plan focuses on the following areas: Food, Fitness, Finances.  The plan is to make some baby steps in each of these areas until they finally become routine and I can do them without thinking about it.

Food
Read Faithfully Fit Devotional daily and apply lessons learned
Make menus
Login to Sparkpeople.com
Drink 64oz of water daily
Log water intake on Sparkpeople.com
Track food intake on Sparkpeople.com (1500-1700 calories)

Fitness
10 minutes of exercise daily
30 minutes of exercise 3 days a week
Gradually increasing that to more as goals are reached

Finances
Make Budget
Stick to Budget
Don't make any unplanned or off budget expenses
Budget for groceries not convenient unhealthy fast food

This may look like a lot or not enough.  For me this is just right.  If I can't obey or make the little things important then the important things will be mismanaged and suffer.  I have done more at once, but for only a short while.  The plan never became a routine or part of me.  I am ready to be faithfully fit in these areas, and I can't do it alone.  God is my strength and my family and friends are my accountability.  I can do this, but not on my own. True change comes in surrender, and with surrender comes true freedom.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Getting Prepared

God has been slowly bringing me back to my role as a single woman and the responsibilities I have to him in my singleness.  In I Corinthinians 7:34-35, Paul speaks of the unmarried woman as one who cares about the things of the Lord and is holy in body and spirit.  He also states that he says things to encourage us and tell us we are more readily available to serve the Lord without distraction.
In today's fast-paced world, there are many distractions that surround me and beg for my attention.  To be perfectly honest, I have been distracted most of my life.  Yes, I have even been a distracted Christian.  Oh, I do many things and serve in my church.  I go I mission trips, but when was the last time I smiled and said hello to my neighbor.  When have I shared Christ to those around me?

My season of singleness is a preparation, a readying for friendships and relationships.  I must first be rightly related to God.   I am supposed to be holy--set apart--in body and spirit.  That is a specific task and requirement for a single woman.  I must take care of my body so it can be set apart and used for God.  Whew, that is a tough one.  What does that look like?  Do I eat healthy in moderation?  Do I exercise?  Do I go to sleep at a decent hour?  Do I use my time wisely and effectively?
I have begun to do this but have not been totally dedicated to this cause. 

I must also be set apart in spirit.  That means I must be seeking God with my whole heart.  What does that look like?  Does that mean I am at church every time the doors are open?  Serving on every committee?  Teaching a Sunday School class?  Emailing all of our missionaries?
This doesn't necessarily mean we are growing in spirit.  We can't earn God's favor; He freely gives it.  I've learned in the past few months, that growth in sprirt occurs with daily time spent with God in His Word, prayer, and just being in His presence.

I must take care of my body and spirit so God can use me, and I will be able to serve Him without distraction.  I also realize I can't do this on my own, so I must surrender to God and allow him to work in me.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Alone in a Crowd

Have you ever had the this deep sense of loneliness even surrounded by several hundred or even thousands of people?  I have.  It is a sad, sinking feeling that is attempting to rob me of the joy of the moment. 

Being alone in a mass of people can be inconvenient and awkward, but it also presents opportunities to meet new people and attempt to make new friends.  This is something I am not very good at.  Yes, I can converse in idle chit chat for a few minutes or so, but to actually introduce myself and share a few genuine moments signifying that I care is one of the most difficult things for me.

When I observe the crowd, I see that the crowd is made up of little circles of friends, laughing and having fun.  I stand out or blend in without someone to answer to.  I can maneuver about the crowd as one better than with others.

I can do what I came to do faster and not have to keep up with anyone in this mass of people.  But in the end, it feels good to have someone you know by your side.

As I endeavor to do more things in life, I won't let the crowd get me down.  I will attempt to get to know at least one person in the crowd.  I mean introduce myself and give them however much time is necessary to show that I care.  My ultimate goal is to share Christ, but in order to do that I need to at least say hello. 

Loneliness is a choice, and I won't allow it to steal my joy in any situation.  Who know, maybe you were one of the crowd that spoke up at the right moment and was a part in making a person's day just a little bit brighter.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Does it Matter for Eternity's Sake?

I just had a huge wake up call today about time and days.  God showed me that my time and energy needs to be focused upon things that can change ETERNITY.  My endless hours in front of the computer or my snail's pace to finish routines around the house doesn't use HIS time very effectively.  God can use the many distractions we face as a means to draw us to Him, but He would probably rather us choose Him first and pray for opportunities to use the time He gives us.
I now need to return to my To Do list and ask God what He wants me to accomplish today and do my best to do so.  God's plans are way better than I can imagine.  I can't wait to see what He has in store for the rest of today.  Don't fret over matters that don't matter. Take advantage of matters that impact Eternity because in the end, that is what truly matters.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Getting Off of the Fence

I am attempting to get off of the fence about Courtship versus Dating.  At this point in my life, I lack some socializing skills with guys.  I can't learn them unless I am around men.  Cloud pushes dating but not in the super charged set apart for marriage sort of way.  His approach to dating is a process to get to know guys and ultimately yourself.  He advocates that we clear up our internal dynamics that are keeping us from dating and getting to know guys in a healthy and respectable manner.

Lovers' Lock Fence ~ Paris, France
I agree with this approach to dating, but on the other hand, I have seen and heard testimonies of women who waited without dating around so much and finally found the one God had for them later in life(late 30s) or even being content to serve God in their singleness.  God's timing is the best timing.  As for dating with no strings attached, for me that is hard for my mind to wrap around because I am a very emotional person and can become attached very quickly.  I don't want to invest improper emotions in a relationship.  I guess that all comes with learning how to socialize and communicate with guys.  As I get more comfortable and pick up my patterns, I can step back and analyze the situation better.

With this approach, it sounds like emotional investment in someone you don't marry is paid back in personal growth with interaction and learning of specific characteristics you want in a guy.  This part, keeps me close to that fence.  I don't want several men out in the world to know the very intimate details of my life.  That is reserved for my future husband.  Emotional purity versus emotional investment with the return being growth as a person and as a Christian is my quandary.

I can't really judge as to whether one is more right.  I do know that if I am following God and staying close to Him, I can't fail.  He will give me a sense of peace about whether or not to "date" or to just enjoy the journey.  I do know God won't send him to my doorstep, so I must be willing to interact and fellowship with guys and learn how I tick around them or I won't be prepared to be married to one.

As my Grandma always said, "Don't go solving a problem with a problem."

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

America's Twelve Stones

God told Joshua and the Israelites to gather twelve large stones and carry them into the Promised Land as a memorial to future generations of what God did for them at that moment in their history.  .  The twelve stones is assumed to represent the twelve tribes and each tribe had a stone to call their own.  Their own claim or part of the whole.

America has its own version of this milestone in the form of a monument entitled "The National Monument to our Forefathers." This monument is a hidden jewel in America located in the offskirts of Plymouth, Massachusetts.  This jewel was recently uncovered by Kirk Cameron in a documentary film Monumental in Search of America's National TreasureKirk Cameron goes and traces back the voyage of our forefathers to America recounting their story with the true and not so pretty details.

Cameron also discusses in depth with a historian the meaning of this monument that was left behind for those of us to remember where we came from.  It gives us the framework for which this country was founded.  The person at the top is Faith pointing heavenward to where our authority comes.  She is holding a loose-leaf Bible in her hands.  The others surrounding her are Education, Morality, Law, and Liberty.  This monument signifies a definite milestone moment in America's history that clearly gives all of the credit to God and what He has done through a people willing to becoming stepping stones for this great nation.

This is America's twelve stone moment.  The principles that this monument represent should lead any logical person back to God as the author of it all.  I was privileged to go to a Christian school where I was taught all of these principles and the value and truth of my Christian heritage.  I was also fortunate enough to go to Plymouth and Boston for my senior trip and see this monument face to face.  In my little Christian school bubble, I had not realized until now that this monument was not well advertised and was hidden from view so to speak as well as the truth behind the founding of out nation.  We are living in difficult times where truth is what you want to make it.  Truth is not valued because everyone can't decide what standard to measure truth by.  As for me, Jesus states it plainly, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me (Jn 14:6).  He is our standard.
Now to bring this to a personal level, what is your twelve stones moment?  What are the moments in life that you had to mark whether physically or mentally as moments only the Lord could explain.  The defining moments of life...the ones you will pass down to your children as an example of what to do or what not to do.  These marks will serve as reminders to inform others of what God has accomplished in your life.  Don't forget to remember.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Still Riding the Fence...

According to Dr. Henry Cloud, being dateless in college is a sign of an major internal dynamic that can hold you back.  So in other words, college is where the dating dynamics are at its best and if you're not dating there is something wrong with you.

I was taken aback by this statement.  I had my circle of friends and didn't need much more.  School and work were all that I could handle and I was content for the most part.

I don't think anything is "wrong" with me, per se.  I am just a late bloomer and am beginning to realize that I must learn how to interact with guys properly without sending off this unaproachable or desperate vibe.

I do agree with opening up my circle of friends or changing my "traffic pattern" as Cloud puts it.  On the other hand, I am trying to establish my walk with God and be content in Him alone without trying to fill voids with other things such as friends or a relationship.

I recently ran across I Corinthians 7:34-35 which says, "...The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit...And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction." (Emphasis added)

This verse stopped me in my tracks several weeks ago.  Paul is telling us that the single woman cares for the things of God.  She doesn't have another person to please, no one to answer to, no one to run schedules by.  The single woman has the freedom to do what she wants when she wants, no strings attached.

As a single Christian woman, my job right now is to care for the things of God in order to be holy [set apart for a particular use] in body and spirit.  That is no small task. I have been working on my body for the last five years, and sad to say my motive wasn't holiness.  My spirit needs a major lift right now as well. 

God has been gently calling me to himself, and I want to be able to "attend upon" or serve him without distraction.  Distractions come in all shapes and sizes and can be easily replaced by other things.  Distraction-free service to God is difficult, but by his grace it can be done if we let him.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

To Date or Not to Date?

I had a book recommended to me entitled How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud.  I have looked into this book, but with great hesitation.  I don't want to date, just to date.  But this book brings up some good points that go against my I Kissed Dating Goodbye mentality.

Have I really kissed dating goodbye or  do I hide behind the fact that I don't date because no one asks?  Am I in places to meet my "future husband"?  How can I meet someone to marry if I don't even meet new people.

Cloud's book brings up the point that God is not going to send us a husband from heaven air stamped in His Timing.  We have a role in our circumstances and need to do our part.

I still have more to discover from this thought provoking stance on dating.   I have a feeling this will be an interesting read.  I will keep you updated.

My goal as of right now is to continue to discover who I am in Christ and find joy in His presence.  I am embracing my season of singleness one step at a time.  I know God has a plan and a purpose for this time in my life.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Basic Principles"

 Let's take some lessons from Hitch.  Yes, movies are not where one usually gets sound, biblical dating advice, but movies do influence and shape our ideals in one form or another.  In this case, Hitch, the infamous love doctor has some pretty sound points on communication. 

In the opening scene of the movie, Alex Hitchens, shares the basic principles of communicating with women and how women hope and long for that one right guy who will sweep her off her feet. 

According to Hitch, 60 percent of communication is non-verbal-body language, 30 percent is tone-how we say the other 10 percent.  I think I have subconsciously understood this, but never really pulled it to the surface.  Personally, I am a talker.  Kind of an incessant one at that, and am probably so busy flapping my gums that I don't pay much attention to body language much less tone.  I do recognize some immediate changes that need to be made in this area in order for any relationships with friends and family to grow much less for any chances of being swept off my feet by the one.

I need to pay attention to the non-verbal vibes I put out like do I carry myself with confidence? walk into a room with a joy or enthusiasm that is contagious? or do I slump my shoulders and complain "woe is me" to everyone I meet? 

Tone is a big deal.  This is an area I struggle with quite a bit.  In my job, my tone is a very important  part of how I communicate.  I get easily frustrated and allowed those emotions to spill over in my tone of voice.  I dislike sarcasm, but still catch myself falling victim to it.

Verbal communication, what we actually say, is the smallest part of the communication process.  Imagine how much breath I have wasted when I have already been tuned out from the body language and tone of what I say.  That is indeed a problem.

So how do we clue into our own body language and tone?  How do we notice the vibes of others around us?

Personally, I NEED to do the following:
1. Talk less, listen more-this seems to go without saying, but evidently I am always talking and it's hard to listen if you can't hear anyone but yourself.  I have had some of the best memories of times when I waited on others and allowed them to speak and share their experiences before opening up mine.  They are few and I hope to have more, but I will treasure them forever.

2. Go people watching-Okay, maybe not this extreme.  I could attempt to be more conscious of others non-verbal behaviors in my circle of influence.  Open my eyes, look below the surface a little.  This really baffles me sometimes when I am actually aware of  it.  So much is communicated in movement or the stiffening of a body or even in a smile.  People watching is also fun and can be done rather easily in a crowded public place.  Just sit and watch people.

3. Focus more on God-He is an automatic pick-me-up and will always be there for me if I let Him.  That should immediately allow me to raise my head a little higher and walk with confidence that everything will be okay because as his child he promises that it will (Rom. 8:38)

Thank you, Hitch, I was listening.

"Walk in wisdom toward them that are without,
redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace,
seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."
~Colossians 4:5

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sound Advice?

I just heard this quote on the radio and really tried to listen to to it.  As the DJ read it, I heard the intent behind what he was saying by quoting it, but I wasn't ready to take it at face-value.  
I do agree with many points, such as I am not perfect, and in my case, my future guy won't be perfect.  I laugh easily and think a lot, so the next two things don't take much.  Many of the guys I know come baring the scars of the past and usually fess up rather quickly to being human and making mistakes. 
My future guy may or may not quote poetry.  Yes, I do agree he may not be thinking of me every moment.  Yes, I hope my future guy gives me his heart, and I hope to not hurt any hearts along the way.  I am trying my best to learn about my emotions and how to guard my own heart in order to not hurt any other hearts along the way.  I would never intentionally hurt my future guy.  I have learned that trying to change someone never works.  I do have expectations hopefully not too demanding of my future guy such as be a God Lover, be attractive and have similar goals and interests, and a desire to spend time with me.

I would be guilty of analyzing, but I would try my best to keep it in check.  Smiling is definitely no problem for me.  Here is the kicker for me.  "Yell when he makes you mad."  I thoroughly disagree with this statement.  I have been yelled at and done my fair share of yelling in my lifetime at various loved ones, and it has never made anything better.  A better phrasing for this statement would be "Confront" or "Deal with problems"  when they come up.  "Don't let the sun go down on your wrath."  Never go to bed or leave each other angry.

This last statement "Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you" contradicts itself due to the fact that it is still talking human, imperfect guys.  I am still on the fence as to there being only one particular person for another in this world.  I believe one person is God's plan.  But the sin nature that has run rampant in the world today, many people are compromising their future in middle school with instant gratification rather than waiting on their "perfect" guy. 

If you wanted to turn this last statement heavenward, it would sound like this:
"Love hard when there is love to be had [God is love]. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one Guy [Jesus] that is perfect for you."

This statement in this format directs you to the right source for love and perfection and you can't go wrong in the arms of Jesus.

Just my thoughts,  I would welcome any other opinions.  Just because something sounds good on initial discovery, don't be afraid to dig a little deeper. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

My First Follower!

Wow, I am super excited about my first follower.  She is a divine inspiration to me.  Her blog is entitled "The Joy of the LORD is my Strength."  "Joy" is my word for the year.  How perfect is that?

I started this blog with the original intent of embracing my singleness and sharing my opinions and thoughts on what true love should look like.  It kind of morphed into an everyday journal with sporadic entries about different times in my life.  One of the common themes was time and not having enough of it.

I attempted to turn my blog into a place to share daily anecdotes under clever titles such as MAD Mondays and WOW God Wednesdays.  I have the best of intentions but seem to never follow through.  I am consistly inconsistent-a work in progress.

I am just grateful that there are people in this great big world that just may like what I have to say.  It is crazy to think that I started this blog to embrace my singleness and share my opinions on love.  It's been nearly three years, and I am just now learning to surrender and embrace my singleness and learn about love from God's perspective.

No, I didn't do anything stupid.  I just didn't give God my everything.  I am still learning the benefit of sweet surrender to an Almighty, loving God. I held back my desires from God and tried to fulfill them in other places such as online websites, friends, food.  Anything that would fill the void of lonliness and longing for my future mate.

I think I will attempt to bring this blog back to it's original purpose with God as my helper and see what happens.  As of right now, I am currently in a Sunday School class for Single women Seeking God's Best.  This is supposed to be future husband specific, but it is so much more than that.  It is a place where we can embrace our singleness and become beautiful women of God.  We must be what God wants us to be before we can even be ready for a husband.

In the past few years and most recent months, I have been learning how to be friends with guys and discovering so much about myself in the process.  I am attempting to live in the moment and not plan the future.  I have discovered many things about emotions and just how powerful those things can be.

One thing that stuck out from Sunday School this week was "become the person you want to attract." If you are into being fit and healthy you are most likely going to want someone that values that as well.  If you are a person of faith, you will probably seek the same.  If  you seek a rich, millionaire and are not yourself a millionare, you better either get busy or reevalute your ideals on money.

I am so happy I discovered my first follower.  I will do my best to be a bit more consistent on bringing you more information I gather on this blessed season of life called singleness.  According to Paul, it is a blessed time.  Check out I Corinthians 7:34-35.